FEELING CONTENT

 I once asked my friend how is he doing these days, he said he feels content. Gue yang vocabularynya terbatas ini bertanya-tanya, feeling content itu gimana maksudnya? Is he good? Is he happy with his current life? Or what?

Akhirnya guepun googling. According to google, Feeling content is a feeling of satisfaction with one's situation, status, or possessions. It can also mean being pleased with one's situation and not hoping for change or improvement. And this is the sign that you are feeling content,

Some signs of feeling content include:

·       Mood doesn't change much

·       Rarely swing from euphoria to depression

·       Usually genuinely warm and smiley

Some say that contentedness comes from a deep satisfaction from within, from accepting your situation, who you are, and the path you are on. Others say that being content with your life means you:

·       Accept yourself as you are today

·       Value all the opportunities and experiences you've had

·       Are filled with inner peace

·       Show love and gratitude to people around you

((((source: Generative AI is experimental by Google)

I think that was great, I’m happy for him. Trus gue mikir, kayanya gue belum pernah deh merasa seperti itu, gue masih selalu aja pengen sesuatu, pengen bisa merubah pattern hidup gue yang kadang gue pikir begini-begini aja. And I think that’s ok too, right? At least I wanna change for the better. But at this point, I wanna feel content. It’s only 3 weeks of the new year but I’ve been through some displeasing feelings. One of them is broken heart. Lol

Broken heart from the situation that I can never be able to change. We both can’t, or maybe God was involved 😊.

Last year, I kinda want to force everything work. That maybe we can change our situationship to be a relationship. But I guess it’s only my hope. My big hope that sometimes I can’t hide it (until now).

But anyway, I’m giving up now, I don’t want to force anything anymore. kan segala sesuatu yang dipaksakan itu ngga baik yah hehe. So I try to let go. It’s really hard, it is. And by that, I’m gonna focus on myself and I want to feel content.

Feeling that nothing’s wrong with myself, that I’m gonna find someone better one day, that maybe I should prioritize my career and my health before my love life. Lol

I’m learning every day about myself, I wanna try to figure it out what the fork is actually I want. What is my purpose in this life, how I can pursue that, and else.

It’s kinda tricky to answer the ‘how are you’ question these days, because I’m physycally ok but not mentally lol. But answering with “I’m ok, thanks” it’s easier, isn’t it? Haha

But if someone asks me, am I feeling content? No, I’m not, I’m still learning. And that’s ok. No need to pretend that I feel content, and no need to force to feel content.

Am I happy? Sometimes yeah, sometimes not. I can be pissed easily for no reason. lol

Are you accepting of who you are? I am. I love myself. So much. Lol

Dan gue punya keyakinan, tahun 2024 ini akan ada banyak hal-hal yang menyenangkan yang akan terjadi di hidup gue, and maybe it’s kinda weird but I have a faith that I’m gonna travel a lot this year. I don’t know where, when and with whose money. lol

Let’s glow ourselves in 2024 together. Focus on yourself and be a better version of yourself, that can even make you surprised by the end of the year.

 

 

3rd January of 2024

Sambil menunggu kerjaan selesai dan jam pulang yang terasa lama di Rabu yang mendung ini, tiba-tiba gue terima Line dari teman virtual yang udah lama banget ngga contact-an. Agar silaturahmi tidak putus boleh dong pinjam 100, ngga deng ngga gitu wkwk. Ya karena tahun baru aja sih, biasa saling bertukar ucapan ‘Happy New Year!’ trus dia langsung curhat katanya dia lagi pusing ngerjain thesis terus tiba-tiba keingetan Blog gue. Dulu dia ngga bisa baca karena language barrier, tapi dia bilang thanks to AI sekarang bisa ditranslate ke Bahasa native temen gue ini.

And then I realized, wah gila yah udah lama banget gue ngge nulis. Tahun kemaren otak tuh kaya stuck aja. Mabok ngurusin tugas akhir sekolah juga sih gue, dengan berbagai pertanyaan dan sindiran ‘jadi kapan lulus?’ menyebabkan fungsi kerja otak gue mandeg. Lol.

To be honest tahun lalu gue sempet mau nulis tentang bagaimana akhirnya gue turning 30 and I’m feeling not so young anymore. Lol. Tapi kok kaya TMI banget ya, so I decided to not post it. Kaya semakin tua tuh semakin jago ngejudge diri sendirinya kerasa banget.

I once said to a friend, you shouldn’t be too judging to others. Eh tapi ngejudge diri sendiri udah paling ahli. Emang kalo cuman ngomong mah enak ya, ngelakuinnya aja yang berat hehe. Recently gue selalu mikir, ngga semua yang gue rasain orang harus tahu dan ngga semua orang harus tahu masalah yang gue lagi hadapin. As simply as that yang bikin gue akhirnya ngga pernah nulis lagi. Padahal yah, ngga semua orang baca blog juga, Jaman sekarang lebih seneng scroll Reel di IG dan TikTok dibanding baca tulisan. Baca caption aja kalo Panjang banget suka diskip wkwkw. And that’s fine, karena gue akan nulis untuk diri sendiri (tapi tetep pengen dibaca orang lain, sapa tau bisa jadi blogger yekan haha).

But hey! I want to start writing again, about everything going on in my life maybe, even though is not really interesting. Lol. But I’ll try to make it as interesting as I can so people can come back to this blog and wait for my next post.

Hopefully, 2024 is gonna be a bright and happy year for all of us yah! :)

Meskipun telat 3 hari. Tapi tetep pengen bilang

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 🎉🎉🎉